Yes!

So, it turns out it only takes listening to three lines of my own story to make me cry.

I was delighted with the actress; accents, age, everything was spot on. Overall, I thought it was great.

Two problems:

- Every flaw in the plot, dialogue etc became glaringly obvious to me
- They left out a sentence, or possibly moved it from the beginning of a paragraph to the end. Have to check. But it was a sentence that made sense of the rest of the paragraph. However, I'm told you could still get the gist.

So now I'm a person who has had a story broadcast on the radio. Weird. But good.

Will I cry?

So, my story should be on RTE1 in about 38 minutes. I am extremely nervous. Unbelievable that something I made up in my head is going to be broadcast to the nation. Anyone at all can listen!

It's especially weird because I had no input into the recording and have no idea what it'll sound like. The narrator in the story is a 17-year-old girl. The only thing I know about its reader is that she's female. As long as she's under 30 it should be ok.

It could be ok anyway, if done right. Well, there's nothing I can do now. I shan't be ringing RTE in a huff even if I HATE the broadcast, but it's going to be very interesting.

How will I feel when I'm listening? Will I cry?

Welcome Molly!

So, if you've been paying attention you'll have noticed that I haven't posted in three months.

By complete coincidence my daughter Molly was eleven weeks old today. Welcome, Molly!

I may have mentioned in previous posts that there was a major task hanging over me; a novel reorganisation. I wanted to put the murder on page one and move early action to flashbacks from there.

It seemed a Herculean task. I've been pondering it for ages.

Today I decided to just get on with it. I want to enter this years' Debut Dagger, and you only supply the first 3000 words to the competition. No point doing it until the murder's on page one and I'm fairly happy with it.

With Molly gurgling at me from the corner of the sofa, I went through my MS and noted where alterations should be made. It took about an hour. Then I implemented the changes in the doc. That took exactly an hour and five minutes.

Now I can print it out, read through it, and smooth the rough edges. Any inconsistencies introduced by the new order of events can be eliminated. Then I can send it off.

Two hours, for a job that's been hanging over me like the Sword of Damocles for months.

I also removed the childish nickname my characters have for the murder victim. The nickname gave me a distaste for the MS a long time ago. Only now that it's gone do I realise that this is partly why I've done no work on the novel since April.

Of course pregnancy and work commitments were also responsible. But it's a useful insight - if you've come to hate your writing, look for the small changes that'll make you fall in love with it again.